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A Helpful Troll

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Pack Mate

Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 1485


PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 1:08 pm    Post subject: A Helpful Troll Reply with quote

This is a story I half wrote quite awhile ago. I got stuck on the ending though but through the efforts of being bored at work I think I have come up with something that will satisfy.

So one day I be flyin' 'round dis Shadowmoon Valley, pickin dat prickly vine for ma greeny potions, an I seein' dis crazy spiny metal ball t'ing on top o' dis building. So I goin' ova ta look at dis t'ing an' I findin' elves! Not dem bouncy ones dat need shootin' but da crazy magicky ones.

Anyway I flyin' ova dere and findin dis elf who lookin' bored and askin, "why you got dis giant shiny balls?".

An' dat elf he lookin' at me all nose in da air like he goin to sneeze and say "You know, they kill trolls where I come from."

"Ya me too. Dis is Fuujin." I lookin' around to point at kitty but he wander off I guess.

Da elf he sayin' "Yes wonderful an annoying troll and his imaginary friend. Look will you please leave? I am very busy right now."

"You needin' help mebe? I'm a hunta an' a alk-e-mist. I've got dis aftershave made from real dried imps only 50 coppers! You'll like dis-"

"No! You horrible creature I want you to leave and..." Dis elf he stops yellin an' startin ta get a sly smile. "There is actually one thing you can do for me."

"Up the hill to the north is an elemental by the name of Kraator. He has become a...nuisance to our business here and needs to be removed. If you do this I will give this shiny metal gold piece!" He holdin' up a coin with da elf prince head on it dat dem orcs in Orgrimmar always laughin at.

"Ya dats okay but I want forty of dose. Fuujin doesn't like 'mentals."

"Forty gold?! You!...You!...". I seein' we need ta haggle, "Fine, we compromise... you give me da gold an' I give you...dis imp aftershave. Fair as anyt'in'."


Afta he done shoutin', I goin' out to da wyvren. Dere's Fuujin wit sometin' in his mouth.

"I wonder where's you got to!"

"I t'ink you right about dat imp stuff. Nobody wants it no matter how flowery dey smell....whatcha got there?" Fuujin showin me dis t'ing he has. Some kinda wand. "So mista elf be payin' in advance. Dat's good. Less trouble for him."

"Now we'z gotta little work to do. Need to kill dis big ele we saw da odder day." Fuujin be growlin, he don't like da 'mentals cause dey burnin' his tongue. "I give you dis fire protection drink neh? Dat make it better."

Now dis ele he bein very big an' very angry (I don't remember meetin' any happy 'mentals....). My traps not be workin' on dis one but I t'inkin' dis ele he not bein' as fast as I am. So I gonna try to get its attention while Fuujin weaken it.

So we sneaking up all quiet like on dis Kraator who bein on dis bare rock of a hill and doin' whateva it is ele's do when not stompin people.

Now I shoutin' "Hey dumb 'mental! I laughin' at you an' you little fires! You waddle like a gronn dat need ta pee!"

So dis ele he lookin' around at me. And fuujin he 'round to the other side of da hill now an' ready. But dis ele...he not chasin' me...he reaching down...and pickin' up a rock da size of Fuujin! An' he chuckin' it at me! Dis not bein' part of da plan!

So I's runnin' 'round now whle dis ele t'rowing rocks. An Fuujin, he leap out at dat ele an' biten it an' clawin' it and da ele he stop chuckin' rocks an he tryin' try ta stomp on my cat! So now I'm shootin' dis ele fast as I can an Fuujin he take off runnin' away. An' dat Kraator, he chasin off after him, so I chasin dem too.

Now we'z running down dat hill and I seein' dat Nibaw sleepin' over by da road (I t'ink he gettin drunk at da elfy village an' dey pushin' him out). An' I yellin now 'Heya you Nibaw! We got an angry 'mental run away now!' an now Fuujin runnin' at da Nibaw cause he like gettin hit more den Fuujin or least dat's what kitty t'inks. But dat warrior he kinda out of it cause Fuujin runnin' by him an' he just rollin' over.An' now Kraator he not seein' dis lump o' tauren an' he trippin ova dis Nibaw and he go rollin' down dis hill. Now we seein' dat da ele all broken when he hit bottom. Dat's good enough so we go back an' take dat Nibaw to an inn where people not trip ova him so much.

Here we is wit a picture. Dat one wit' da horns is Nibaw.

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